With my hand on the wheel and my brain in neutral . . .

Posts tagged ‘deck’

The Painting Pickets Blues

Pickets 400

This past week I painted a deck with something I’ve never used before, Behr’s Deck-Restore. Pouring it out of the 5 gallon can, it was thicker than chocolate syrup! It reminded me of bottom paint for boats, and that stuff reminds me of gooey tar. It seems like an excellent product for protecting wood, but the thickness of it makes for slow, slow painting. Hence, the song that wrote itself as I worked:

I can paint a house, all day long
Ya I can paint a house, all day long
And all day long, I feel like,
I feel like singing a smilin’ song

I can paint a room, all day and all night
Ya I can paint a room, all day and all night
Ya when I paint a room, I feel,
I feel not great, but I feel aaallll-right

I can paint a porch, it’s in the shade
Ya I can paint a porch, it’s in the shade
Ya when I paint a porch,
Oh, lordy, I got it made

I can paint a deck, I can paint a paa-ti-ooh
Ya I can paint a deck, I can paint a paa-ti-ooh
Ya, ‘cause when I’m painting outside,
It helps the time, the time to flow

I can paint a picket
Oh, hell, I can paint a picket
But, but I say, ask me to paint a pack o’ pickets,
And I say, aww, man! Frick it! Frick the pickets! I hate frickin’ pickets! Painting pickets sucks! It’s mind-numbing, dull, dull, dull work! Tedious and slow! I frickin’ hate frickin’ painting frickin’ pickets! Frickin’, schmugger-frussin’, makka-saaly, stoopid, stoopid pickets!
Oh, yaaaa . . .

(As I’ve said many times, if you can’t entertain yourself, you can’t fairly expect anyone else to.)

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